Gog and Pedagog

Goodbye Mr Chips

Farewell Brodie, Dumbledore

Your suns are suffering eclipse

Your bodybags await, with zips

Listen: down the classroom floor


Daleks start to purr

Ciao to Misses Stacy, Honey

You’re both thought of as amateur

By education’s connoisseurs:

While bots are on the money


And androids get to proper grips

With poetry and art

As A.I. brutes with metal hips

Explain what makes relationships

And how to cure the heart


Here are Gove and Gibbs

And Greening in their shade

Switch their brains on, give them cribs

Machines will guide your rusty nibs

And calibrate your grade


Here is Alma Mater

Ah, Mrs. Golem, Morning!

Humour is a strict non-starter

Must not cheek the automata

That’s your final warning


Marvellous invention!

Human teachers are uncool

Robots run a mean detention

Robots do not need a pension

Get a robot in your school


Click here for a Telegraph story

Click here for an earlier poem






13 September 2017

Sir Anthony Seldon, vice-chancellor of the University of Buckingham, predicted that machines would take over from teachers in a decade. Confusingly, he said he was “desperately sad” but that “the machines will be … inspirational… it will open up the possibility of an Eton for all.”


This news story appeared in several national papers, although it also surfaced in March 2016 (see link).


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