It’s not because we’re clever,

It’s not because we’re bright,

The talks may seem to take forever,

And they might.


It’s not that we’re distracted,

It’s not because we ramble:

So yes, it’s longer than expected,

And a shambles.


Some say that we are cunning,

Some think we have a scheme,

Progress may be less than stunning –

But we dream.


We think we’re Titan’s creatures,

From the best of Saturn’s moons:

That is why our thought and speech is

A buffoon’s.


And the fact is, we are Tory,

With gristle in the skull:

We can cause a small furore,

Or a lull.


Next week we’ll eye the others,

Next week we’ll suck our pen:

And then, my very dear Carruthers,

We’ll start again.


Near Saturn we were simple,

Our mental doors ajar,

Our brains each smaller than a pimple.

They still are.


Click here for an Independent article


Click here for an Independent article







4 August 2017

Evidence of simple life forms has been found on Saturn’s moon, Titan. EU officials suspect that the UK may be working to a ‘cunning plan’ for Brexit, because that’s the only explanation they can come up with as to why the talks are so shambolic.


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