Lost World


Let me stroke you with my snout

Let me help your passions out

Let me press you, pout to pout

In prehistoric tryst


Let me mate you, tongue to tongue

Let me roll here in your dung

Let me offer you a bung

Now that we have kissed


All those benefits accruing!

All those feelings, so long brewing!

Here’s my nostril, let’s be wooing

Let us swim in tandem


Scratch my back, I’ll feel your fins

Let us share our scales and skins

Vote with me, and it begins …

Our reptilian fandom


Out there in the swamps and fens

Face to face we’ll build our dens

Stalk the wilds and roam the glens

Smooching if you’re willin’


Raptors caught in rapture’s heat

A billion reasons why we’re sweet

Tiny brains and shambling feet

Are you from Enniskillen?




Click here for a Guardian article





29 June 2017

According to University of Southampton research, dinosaurs had sensitive snouts that they used for wooing. The Conservatives signed an agreement for mutual assistance with the DUP, for a billion quid.


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