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Farewell Boris, overthrown, a

Man without a flaw or fault:

Not as if you would condone a

Case of sexual assault,

Not as if your noble bluster

Or your fund of Latin squibs

Or your constant filibuster

Ever seemed a pack of fibs.


Bathing in some cheap effulgence

When you graced a leaving-do,

The dying elsewhere craved indulgence

But what on earth was that to you?

Who would blame you? You were super,

Eating cake and swilling wine:

Only a stupid party-pooper

Would call upon you to resign.


No longer will your fingers riffle

Through that self-confected straw,

Nor will your pyramids of piffle

Bore the voters any more:

As you say, your fans are legion,

Voting for your charm and wit.

It seems unfair that in each region,

People say you’re full of shit.


When they caught you in the spotlight,

Wall-papering across the cracks,

They were mean, and they were not right:

Their ad hominem attacks

Did not mirror all your gentle,

Jolly web of cheap intrigue.

Those who said that you were mental:

They were never in your league.


And now you must eat chickenfeed,

Tuck dollars in suspender belts,

And exercise your perfect greed

And blame the way the cards were dealt:

At last, Nil desperandum (Horace) –

We’ll use shovels, clear your mess.

Take your baseball bat home, Boris;

And leave us here to convalesce.


Boris Johnson resigned

8 July 2022


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