The Playboy of the Western World
In my rompers, in my bib,
Toys thrown well outside my pram:
That’s the cut of me, my jib;
That’s the way I am.
Feel my width and weigh my bulk –
Watch my elephantine sulk.
Pick your punches; always hit low;
Taste of snake or diesel oil –
I’m a papule, wen or whitlow,
I’m a vicious boil.
Some say that my bubble’s burst.
I came very very first!
I have every toddler’s charm,
Random tantrums by the score,
Full of drivel, full of smarm –
Hear my tiny roar –
Jim-jams decked with stripes and stars,
I bang my rattle on these bars.
Look inside my yellow-bile eye,
Count electors, state by state,
Watch the winners pile high, while I
My finger jabs! I am divine!
The world is mine all mine all MINE.