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So, off we race to deepest space,

The cosmos and the void –

I do not have a brain or face,

And I am paranoid –

Nor do I know which way to go.

A human made me, don’t you know.


I’m pilot-less, and I must guess

The route. I watch this glass:

I’m simple as some garden cress,

My elbow’s all my arse.

I have no Daddy, have no Mummy.

I am just a human’s dummy.


I represent the greater powers,

Their wisdom and their wit –

I sit here dour, hours on hours,

Whatever fashions fit –

I’m crazy, isolationist,

And better still, I don’t exist.


The pond life on my planet hunts

For moolah on the moon:

I am a dunce who looks for bunce,

But won’t find any soon:

I have no blood. Through space I scud.

I’m Trump, I’m May. I am a dud.



Click here for an ‘i’ story








America’s new space capsule docked smoothly with the International Space Station (ISS) yesterday, in a major step towards putting the US back in the business of launching astronauts. No one was on board SpaceX’s Dragon craft that launched on Saturday on its first test flight, only an instrumented dummy named Ripley, after the character from the Alien films (the i newspaper).

5 March 2019


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