the weekly

Planet Tesco

Let's go
To San Frantesco
Where the rest go
To buy and buy

You hear the song from pole to pole
Along the aisles where people stroll
Beneath the seas where currents eddy
And divers have Reward Cards ready

You hear the voices swell with pride
As, round and round, the trolleys glide
And watch the basket as it swings
In branches based on Saturn's rings

In galaxies far, far away
Sweet aliens swipe their cards and pay
While Heaven's cashiers sound its bell
And every little helps in Hell

Where missiles fly and shrapnel kills
Who else but Tesco mans the tills?
When ice-caps melt, with global warming
Where else should queues be slowly forming?

The supermarkets rule the Earth
In morgues and cribs, at death and birth
How else should we confront our fate?
What's wrong with them in Harrogate?

Guardian news story

Planet Tesco
The supermarket giant Tesco recently opened a store in Beijing. The only mainland town left in Britain without a branch is Harrogate, in Yorkshire, where a rearguard action is being fought.
7 February 2007


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