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Unicorns and Seatbelts

Here I hover, with my horn,

Pink and perfect and surreal,

A zombie quadruped, unborn,

Braying for a cool No-Deal.


I was bred by ancient thought,

Raised inside a Franken-lab:

As a myth, I’m over-wrought,

But there again I’m pretty fab.


Here I dither near the edge,

Ready to destroy your soul,

Asking you to sign my pledge,

Taking back your fool control –


I’m the beast of ancient lore,

Propagate me if you dare,

Unchained beside this open door.

Come inside my lovely lair.


Here be dragons, hippogriffs,

Here be trolls, and here’s a sphinx

Chattering in hieroglyphs –

Here’s a hinkypunk to jinx


Everything you’ve ever thought.

I’m your unicorn. No fuss:

Put your belt on. Let us sport:

And now let’s crash this stupid bus.




Unicorns and Seatbelts

Justice Secretary David Gauke said in a Cabinet meeting that "Managed no-deal is not a viable option. It's not on offer from the EU and the responsibility of Cabinet ministers is not to propagate unicorns but to slay them." Amber Rudd, the Home Secretary, added that "Just because you've put a seatbelt on it doesn’t mean you crash the car.”

19 December 2018


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