the weekly


I won’t go, and I will stay,

Chaos always rules OK,

We are red and white and blue,

Here’s my Unicorn and poo.


See the quaint horn in my head,

I will put this mess to bed.

Will I topple? Will I teeter?

Here’s my Unicorn excreta.


Let them seek a brand new leader

From the true-blue Al-Qaeda.

Won’t turn back, there are no stoppings,

I’m a Unicorn, with droppings.


I blow hotter, I blow colder,

Parked on Europe’s harder shoulder,

The suicidal bell’s been rung,

I’m a Unicorn with dung.


I am wonderful, a myth.

A legend. Do not take the pith.

All these plots are idle chatter

To Unicorns with faecal matter.


I don’t care where Jacob’s coup is.

I cannot remember Suez.

I am still the main event,

A Unicorn, with excrement.


It’s really calm behind the scenes,

And you all know what Brexit means.

I’ve my mantra, will not vary –

I’m Unicorn, a stercorary.


I will wear my winter vest,

It’s in the national interest!

Britons face a brand new dawn,

With this coprophilic Unicorn.


The country’s chair has lost a castor

But we aren’t facing true disaster.

Here it is, my chaos kit,

From a Unicorn, a pile of –



Click here for the Unicorn






Six ministers resigned, including the Brexit minister. Jacob Rees-Mogg and others sent in the trigger letter (about changing leader) to the 1922 Committee chairman, Graham Brady. Theresa May said she would stay, as it was in the interest of the country, and compared herself to Geoffrey Boycott. Suez was repeatedly invoked. One of the most popular Christmas presents is a unicorn that produces poo – it is called the Poopsie Surprise Unicorn.

16 November 2018


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