the weekly


They said I was a porker;
They said I was a swine;
They told me I was fat and pink;
They told me I was just a fink;
They fed me swill, said, Dine.

They said I was a genius;
They said 'as fresh as fruit';
They told me I was brand and new;
They told me I should head the queue;
They gave me guns, said, Shoot.

They say I am a stinker;
They say I'm out of tune;
They tell me that I've lost the plot.
They claim I'm rotten. Am I not
Prime Minister till June?

Jade Goody, who became a celebrity and millionairess because she seemed so comically stupid on reality TV show Big Brother - i.e. asking if 'East Angular' was abroad – unmade her tabloid fame by making apparently racist remarks to an Indian co-star on Celebrity Big Brother. Bereft of a lucrative perfume contract, and forced to denounce herself in the very tabloids that originally called her a 'pig', she has allegedly had a nervous breakdown.
24 January 2007


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