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Gaffer Tape


I told them you were clever,

The leader of the group:

Despite my best endeavour,

You were the nincompoop –

The halfwit of the tribe of Hunts,

The dolt, the dotard and the dunce.


I told them you were cunning,

A star with extra shimmer.

They thought of you as stunning:

No Toc H lamp was dimmer –

Of all the many Jeremies,

The brain most like a processed cheese.


I said you were a wizard,

An ace, a virtuoso:

But you, a lounging lizard,

Were hardly even so-so:

You thoughts are drizzle. They congeal.

You a dolt, an imbecile.



Click here for a BBC story


Gaffer Tape

Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt remarked at a Chinese banquet that his wife was Japanese. As she is actually Chinese, he had then very swiftly to apologise.

31 July 2018


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