the weekly

Space Grease


I’m standing in the Tory line

I’m out in outer space

I’m queuing by the entry sign

With principles in place

I’m dedicated, at the crease

The air is full of toxic grease


I’m waiting for the moral maze

I’m in the cosmic soup

I’m in the final Tory phase

I’m soaked in sticky gloop

No matter how I plan the route

I wind up dark and dank with soot


The line snakes on and out of sight

I watch its suited backs

The stabbers live there overnight

And sometimes use an axe

I’m in the dark, I have no sponge

I’m coated in the Tory gunge


God help the rank and Tory file

Who stand out in the void

They’re hosed down with a viscid bile

From every asteroid

Take Boris, and take all his drool

And each sebaceous molecule


Click here for an Independent article on Boris

Click here for a Guardian article on outer space


Space Grease

Boris Johnson praised Jacob Rees-Mogg as ‘principled and dedicated’. An Australian-Turkish research group found that space was toxic and sticky: “10 billion trillion trillion tonnes of gloop” in the Milky Way. Queuing for Wimbledon is just around the corner.

4 July 2018


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