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Heart Of Stone


I am a stupid troglodyte

I live inside a darkened cave

My dinner bones are dusky white

I don’t know how I should behave

The Great God Jakes, who’s scarecrow-thin

Insists that mine’s a stupid din


The mammoth and the sabre-tooth

Possess far larger cerebella

As Jakes says, I’m in truth uncouth

I am a very darksome fella

The Great God Jakes thinks I’m a grub

Because I’d like to join the club


My jaw is slack, my manners poor

My drawing’s too experimental

I cannot catch a dinosaur

But still my thoughts are continental

The Great God Jakes thinks I’m a wuss

Not worth a flintstone-tinker’s cuss


My head obtrudes, my teeth are missing

Bedraggled beard clings to my jaws

My brains won’t rise to reminiscing

But I’d prefer no more world wars

The Great God Jakes has running middens

I suppose my sort should do his biddance


But there again, I like the crowd

Who live across the Giants’ Sea

Neanderthals – I’d do them proud

There are no foreigners for me

The Great God Jakes’d like them stone-dead

Maybe he’s a total bonehead


Click here for an Independent story



Heart Of Stone

‘It has taken us some time to rediscover the opportunities of a truly global Britain and a few cave dwellers still want to stop the process, but with 367 days to go the United Kingdom will be free’ (Jacob Rees-Mogg).

27 March 2018


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