Red In Tooth
My teeth are clean, my gums ablaze,
And hygiene is my motto:
Some dental research always pays,
And I’m completely blotto –
The microbes lose their cool pizazz
When you wash your gums with pure Shiraz.
I keep my tooth enamel bright,
I’m as clean as Peter Sarstedt:
My bark is strong but wow, my bite!
I’m absolutely plastered –
The bugs give up their daily bash
When you coat your tongue in neat Grenache.
Inspect my gingivitis! Gone!
I defy my dental critics:
My cuspids play a carillon,
I’m pole-axed, paralytic –
It’s better than unsweetened Polo
When you douse your mouth in Nebbiolo.
How do I keep this winning smile?
I’ll show you in a jiffy:
I am a toothsome oenophile,
I’m banjaxed, stinko, squiffy –
Forget the apple and the carrot,
I’m dining round the clock on claret.