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Dream Team


We’re the dream team: in your sleep

We’re ego, id and super-creep –

We conspire, beneath your sheet

To bring you out in prickly heat


Bojo Baggins, mouthing drool,

Mikey Gove, the poor man’s fool,

Jake the Mogg, his turn-ups straight –

Oh how we'll horripilate


From the noxious land of Nod,

Hear our sullen, heavy plod,

Hear the dragging of our chains,

Search in vain for any brains


Here we come, a shocking trio,

Without a single ounce of brio –

Hear us as we manifest:

A leech, a sucker and a pest


If you’ve had some shuteye grief

Wait till we three are the chief –

You will feel our gamma waves

Drag you to your restless graves


We aren’t Bobtail, Rag and Tag

We will make you pule and gag –

We will choke you on your chips

In zombie-lite apocalypse


Watch us, all you daily hacks,

Stab each other in our backs –

Now there’ll be no further kip

On your phlegm-stained pillow-slip


No more wool for you to gather:

Are you ready for our blather?

We hope you’re in your dressing-gown:

Dystopia has come to town




Click here for a news story (originally in The Sunday Times)






Dream Team

The newspapers reported a Tory plot to instal the ‘dream team’ of Johnson, Gove and Rees-Mogg (the latter as Chancellor) in government

5 February 2018


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