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Getting The Bird

I’m a compassionate rightist

A Conservative bursting with care

I don’t like the mean in the slightest

That’s why I’m in this, so there

I’m a poor-loving Tory – it’s why I enlisted

But it turns out that I may have never existed


Observe my unusual feathers

The thoughtful design of my beak

My long legs, so perfect in leathers

The cough in my song when I speak

I’m a fan of equality, almost hysterical

But it turns out that I may be wholly chimerical


When I was a hatchling or chick

Still eggy behind my young ears

The rich really got on my wick

With their kindness so far in arrears

That’s why I’m in this, humane to our kith

But it turns out that I am a muddle-head’s myth


What sympathy burns in my breast!

What tolerance lurks in my wing!

I’ve a warm and solicitous nest!

What worms I’ll remember to bring!

I’m here to be kind, as my conscience has weighed up

But it turns out in fact that I’m totally made up



Click here for the University of Aberdeen story




Getting The Bird

This is the Conservatism I believe in. A Conservatism of fairness and justice and opportunity for all. A Conservatism that keeps the British Dream alive for a new generation. That’s what I’m in this for. That’s what we must all be in this for.  Theresa May, conference speech.


One of the world's most elusive species of songbird may be so hard to spot because it never existed in the first place – University of Aberdeen research cited in Journal of Ornithology.


9 October 2017


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