the weekly

Black Holes

I’m a black hole; all ideas

Are sucked into my throbbing maw –

I’ve made a dozen great careers

By soaking every sort of poor:

I’ve left them at a food bank, broke,

And let their lives go up in smoke.


I’m a black hole; I insist

That I deserve my weight in shares –

This country needs an iron fist,

And half-a-dozen pious prayers.

Computer blanks them for six weeks?

More pepper on my wild boar cheeks.


A black hole, and a vacuum too,

My gravitas is massive – geddit?

I swallow light like lobster stew.

I give you Universal Credit –

Let all grow thin, while I grow fatter:

Of glitches, I insist – no matter.


We black holes must in time collide:

A back-street poison is our tipple.

We all believe in regicide –

We like to cause a major ripple.

The poor are simply commonplace:

Our real work’s in outer space.





Click here for a Guardian story


Click here for an Independent story




Black Holes

The Conservative Party conference is to be told the government will press ahead with the ‘rollout’ of Universal Credit.

Astronomers have made a new detection of gravitational waves and for the first time have been able to trace the shape of ripples sent through spacetime when black holes collide – The Guardian

2 October 2017


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