Gog and Pedagog
Goodbye Mr Chips
Farewell Brodie, Dumbledore
Your suns are suffering eclipse
Your bodybags await, with zips
Listen: down the classroom floor
Daleks start to purr
Ciao to Misses Stacy, Honey
You’re both thought of as amateur
By education’s connoisseurs:
While bots are on the money
And androids get to proper grips
With poetry and art
As A.I. brutes with metal hips
Explain what makes relationships
And how to cure the heart
Here are Gove and Gibbs
And Greening in their shade
Switch their brains on, give them cribs
Machines will guide your rusty nibs
And calibrate your grade
Here is Alma Mater
Ah, Mrs. Golem, Morning!
Humour is a strict non-starter
Must not cheek the automata
That’s your final warning
Marvellous invention!
Human teachers are uncool
Robots run a mean detention
Robots do not need a pension
Get a robot in your school
Click here for a Telegraph story
Click here for an earlier poem
