the weekly



It’s not because we’re clever,

It’s not because we’re bright,

The talks may seem to take forever,

And they might.


It’s not that we’re distracted,

It’s not because we ramble:

So yes, it’s longer than expected,

And a shambles.


Some say that we are cunning,

Some think we have a scheme,

Progress may be less than stunning –

But we dream.


We think we’re Titan’s creatures,

From the best of Saturn’s moons:

That is why our thought and speech is

A buffoon’s.


And the fact is, we are Tory,

With gristle in the skull:

We can cause a small furore,

Or a lull.


Next week we’ll eye the others,

Next week we’ll suck our pen:

And then, my very dear Carruthers,

We’ll start again.


Near Saturn we were simple,

Our mental doors ajar,

Our brains each smaller than a pimple.

They still are.


Click here for an Independent article


Click here for an Independent article








Evidence of simple life forms has been found on Saturn’s moon, Titan. EU officials suspect that the UK may be working to a ‘cunning plan’ for Brexit, because that’s the only explanation they can come up with as to why the talks are so shambolic.

4 August 2017


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