the weekly

Dress Down Day


Here one sits in pumps and slacks

Bucket hat upon one’s head

Nothing on dementia tax

Lots of Brexit stuff instead

Charlie wears a polo blouson

With the RYS at Cowes on


One would frankly pass all this up

For the sun-soaked Norfolk Broads

Mrs. May can’t fix a piss-up

In a well-oiled House of Lords

Zip on care, and zilch on pensions

Grammar schools one hardly mentions


Rather face Balmoral’s midges

Than read out this thrill-free pap

Pimm’s is chilling in one’s fridges

Charlie strokes his baseball cap

Negotiations blah blah blah

Had a snifter in the car


Foxes may be pleased, one feels

Rampant through one’s wide demesne

Kiddies keep their midday meals

Ulster! Well it can’t complain –

Someone’s crossed its lucky palm

Wish they wouldn’t call one ‘Ma’am’


Here one sits in Factor 50

With one’s shades Sophia-style

One’s government is turning thrifty

Won’t be back here for a while

Mrs May’s bit is a pelham

Her bikini’s made of vellum





[alternate or additional verse]

There’s that nice young man in shorts

On his head a scarlet fez – a-

ccording to the court reports

He is better known as Jezza

Loathes one’s coach – its tawdry glister

One could be a Corbynista


As Philip could not accompany the Queen (hospital), his place has been taken here, as in actuality, by Charlie. Various wags have noted that it looked like Take Your Child To Work Day.



Dress Down Day

The Queen’s Speech was short, and short of detail, and spoken by a dressed-down Queen. It was the longest heatwave since 1976.

21 June 2017


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