Every Little Helps
Please take your kit off for Christmas,
And make all your relatives merry,
It's just what you need for your fitness –
Be careful when placing your berry.
A mistletoe kiss? Are you crackers?
Charades? Or some seasonal Twister?
No, let's hear you click your maracas,
And gawp at your lovely young sister.
The turkey's been scoffed. You are restive.
The pudding's been given a drubbing.
So let's see some action more festive –
Come on, Grandma: time to go clubbing.
Prince Charles and Prince Philip's vanilla
Ice cream's eaten. Time for a quarrel?
No, let's hear it for Liz and Camilla
As they bump and they grind round Balmoral.
Aunts dance for uncles and cousins –
If it's hot, then they might dance al fresco -
But they'll pole it this Christmas in dozens,
In hundreds, perhaps. Thank you, Tesco.