the weekly

Press Briefing

Terror comes in many shapes

In many different sizes:

To all except a jackanapes,

The only real surprise is,

They did not with a firm accord

Subject him to a waterboard.


The mouths of babes and infants speak

In language that is foreign:

Take little girls, who always shriek,

They’re utterly abhorrent.

We lead our country into battle

By confiscating every rattle.


Have I no shape? I have – a bag,

On which all life is based.

My mouth is large, but here’s the drag,

It’s full of tasteless waste.

My name is Spicer, local wit:

No anus, so I’m full of shit.


To say that I can tell the truth

Is down here as a fact:

My boss is from a circus booth,

And I’m the king of tact.

I said he was a genius, I did.

Very wrong – and so misguided.





Click here for a Guardian article



Press Briefing

Palaebiologists at the University of Cambridge say that our ancestor is a millimetre-sized and bag-shaped creature called Saccorhytus coronarious. It had a large mouth, and no anus (its waste came back through its mouth). A five-year-old was detained at Dulles airport, and handcuffed. Sean Spicer, the White House press secretary said: “To assume that just because of someone’s age and gender that they don’t pose a threat would be misguided and wrong.”

February 1 2017


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