the weekly

Peel me a grape

Fit me a cat-suit, a shooter

Mine is a dangerous breed

Dress me as Cratchit or Pooter

Saddle my favourite Steed

Here’s pepper and cheese, spice up the cauli

Bring me the geek with a bowler and brolly


Bring me some pearls and a oneset

Fetch me some vicious shampoo

Let me roar into the sunset

Summon up Eeyore, Magoo

Brexit is merely adjustable spannering

I’m from the forge that gave us George Mainwaring


I’m Martha and Minnie and Ena

I’m Stevens (Remains Of The Day)

Pronto, I’m Tonto, though meaner

I’m Purdey, I’m Mrs. Bouquet

I’m deputy head girl at good old St Trinian’s

Don’t laugh at my gaggle of idiot minions


Yes dress me in lurex, by Jingo

Let me show them I’m Top Of The Form

If I am a Beatle, I’m Ringo

I’m Queen Bee, and you are the swarm

I have no idols, I cut my own figure

But bring me Roy Rogers, his finger on Trigger




Click here for a Telegraph article


Peel me a grape

In an interview about Christmas, Theresa May let slip she was fond as a child of Emma Peel (as played by Diana Rigg in The Avengers), although denied she had any role models.

6 December 2016


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