At Health and Human Services, in cloaks incarnadine,
Are C. de Vil, the Hun Attila, Victor Frankenstein:
My people also have both Burke and Hare to offer their advice –
And Leatherface may press our flesh, respect to him. So nice.
At Veterans Affairs, a Doctor Helsing’s there. Hi Van.
My people have Hal Shipman, and there’s F.T. Bogeyman:
At Education, maybe Flashman, maybe Moriarty.
Miss Minchin’s on my list as well. Miss Trunchbull. Such a party.
So look at Captain Hook, now he could run the Housing sector,
My people also rate Bill Sikes, and there’s a guy called Lecter,
Transportation is a cinch with Blofeld, Kurtz and Vlad:
Some go for Gog, and Magog’s also in the frame. So glad.
The Donald says, for Energy, we’ve Sauron on our side,
But also there is Jekyll, which means there’s also Hyde;
For Commerce, Gordon Gekko, although also Jezebel,
For Labor, they say Steerpike, maybe Satan. Both so swell.
Attorney-General? Here are Iago, Grendel’s Ma, Macbeth.
Agriculture? Choose between Count Fosco, Doctor Death.
Homeland? Try Svengali. Struwelpeter. Captain Bligh.
Interior? Try Beria. Or Nurse Ratched. Such a guy.
My people think that Mrs. Danvers ought to run Defense,
But also we have Dracula (according to Mike Pence).
The Treasury is Rosa Klebb, or Quilp, or Al Capone.
Or Boggis, Bunce or Bean. Or Queeg. The Joker. So well-known.
That leaves me with contestants for the Secretary of State:
Maybe it’s Milosevic, but maybe Norman Bates –
But they’re all little sweet, you know, a little Forrest Gump.
I’ll be my cabinet myself. So Donald J. So Trump.