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The leaf-miner moth brings disaster:

The horse-chestnut faces its doom –

To lose all our conkers is perfectly bonkers.

God help the horse-chestnut to bloom.


Cripes and sic semper tyrannis,

The horse-chestnut’s certain to melt:

Holding on to our conkers, my friends, is pure bonkers:

The moth’s cards have all been well-dealt.


The leaf-miner moth’s a grim geezer;

He’ll turn the horse-chestnut to slime –

We’d be, golly, bonkers, to let go our conkers:

Save the blimey horse-chestnut in time!


I’m pro conker but also pro moth,

And the tree’s an old chestnut, cui bono?

Best not to be bonkers, they’re merely our conkers,

And a leaf miner’s never a no-no.


A moth’s not a conker, to sum up,

Nor a conker a moth. Let’s unsex it:

Things upon wings, or things upon strings?

In conclusion, I’m voting for Brexit.


Click here for a Telegraph article (conkers)


Click here for an Evening Standard report/ text of the article







The future of conkers was under threat by the leaf-miner moth. Boris Johnson’s article, pro-Remain, written just before the campaign, was released.

October 18 2016


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