the weekly

Lunch Isolation

England’s in lunch isolation:

She can’t stump up money for stuff.

She can’t even factor in nuclear reactors –

When you’re down on your uppers, it’s rough.


England’s in lunch isolation:

Her minders have starved her of loot.

When your friends have a peace-sign and you have a V-sign,

They’re happy to give you the boot.


England’s in lunch isolation:

It can’t see the playground at all.

When you give up the team for your own private scheme,

Cinderella shan’t go to the ball.


England’s in lunch isolation:

It has one brown banana to munch.

When you thumb the old sneezer at foreigners’ visas,

You don’t get the pick of the bunch.


England’s in lunch isolation:

Cold pizza, cold wurst, poor fromage –

When you use condescension, it’s dinner detention

Until you admit to the charge.


Scotland’s in lunch isolation:

It’s chained to your seat by its kilt.

It wants to play conkers, but you have gone bonkers –

Be careful your gruel isn’t spilt.


Yes, England’s in lunch isolation:

It won’t join with friends at the bell –

Its speeches are hackneyed, it picks at its acne,

And, too broke for soap, it will smell.


Click here for an Independent article.



Lunch Isolation

Children at a free school were placed in ‘lunch isolation’ until their parents stumped up overdue cash.

30 July 2016


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