the weekly

Boris F.O.

I pledge UK’s allegiance

To Finn Lanka and The Pru

To Holland’s Nether Regions,

Timbuk1 and Timbuk2,


To Domingo and Armonica,

To Hungry and Starvenia,

To Jutland and Japonica,

And the gardens of Gardenia,


To Lilliput, Angora,

To the kingdoms of Cape Cod,

Borealis and Aurora,

To Narnia and Nod,


To Beyoncé and Shakira,

To the noble Old Etonia,

Bangla Daesh and Indira,

Ruritania and Freedonia,


To the happy isle of Wonga

And the Country Of The Blind,

To the shores of Epping Ongar

And the somewhat Non-Aligned,


To the shrine of Old St. Di

Loved by the paparazzo

To Mordor, Alkali,

To all Burkina Fatso,


To Assyria, Al-Fresco,

The always praying Mantis,

Chad Valley, Asda, Tesco,

To Oz and to Atlantis,


To the tropical Da Capo,

To Vinho Verde’s cedars,

To the glory of Gestapo,

The heat that’s Al Qa-eda’s –


I’m in continents, my friends!

I’ll be always in your debt!

And Europe (no offence!)

Hail fellows and well-met!



Click here for a Guardian article


Boris F.O.

Boris Johnson was booed at his first press conference abroad. “He twice referred to the crisis in Egypt, but was believed to be referring to Turkey.” (The Guardian.)

20 July 2016


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