May Poll
Welcome to the top of the greasy poll, Theresa
You diamanté geezer
No dodgy dossier, so no need to sex it
Simply Brexit Means Brexit
(The voce was rather blotto
Who thought up this imbecilic motto)
This is your chance to look imperial
Though it’s a pity you have to work with such unpromising material
Such as Hunt and Whittingdale, don’t get me started
I could not bear to be more downhearted
Will you keep Boris, keep Michael
The clowns who couldn’t decide who was riding the unicycle?
They’re saying you need a broad church and a big tent
Though trying to be inclusive in your case is a fig ment
Better be ho, better be gung
After Göttercämerung
While the lips are still wet from booing his piety
And mocking, the thought of it, the Big Society
It may be the end of the crew from the Vars’ty
But the party still has the capacity to be extremely Nars'ty
(Take Angela Leadsom
Who said some
Peculiar things about women and gays and religion and hunting
So please don’t hang out the bunting
For her) –
You may prefer
Elevating a hanger as well
(Step forward Priti Patel)
But really I’d rather you stuck with the less fervent
Who may be more observant
Obviously you’re a Conservative so I won’t hold my breath or expect to offer hurrahs
As much chance as finding life on Mars
Which your pals would probably find inferior
And unfriendly bacteria
