the weekly


Well, well! And what a palaver.

About time we stood to applaud!

Let’s open a fresh crate of cava!

How great to see order restored.


Mrs. Morgan is red-hot on grammar!

Fantastic to see how she drools!

What a wonderful use of a hammer.

How great the insistence on rules.


There are tinies who try on some startlers

When they ought to be calm as a cloud!

It’s time that the teachers were heartless!

Oh wow! It makes me feel proud!


Let them be lashed for false commas!

What a stroke. Let the stray colons cease!

Take all this hand-clapping from us!

How fab are the grammar police.


Yes language is always about chums

Taking care of their words! More or less!

The plans will improve the way in which the government monitors its performance and will allow the public to track progress against key outcomes!

These improvements are being driven from the ground - by confident, innovative leaders like you, who’ve embraced autonomy to achieve truly remarkable progress!


Click here for a Telegraph article


Click here for the Department of Education website, where you can find the last two lines of the poem.



The use of exclamation marks will be penalised in primary schools unless they end sentences starting 'How' or 'What'.

7 March 2015


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