Show me now how glamour purrs,
From Diaobingshan to Derby –
You’re all a bunch of amateurs
Compared to brand-new Barbie.
From Duque de Caxias to Darfur
She’s as supple as awabi –
With twenty-eight styles of coiffure:
Beyond our ken is Barbie.
From Daiquiri to Dundee cake
Her scoff is hyper-carby –
You think she’s thin? That’s some mistake!
Play spot-the-bulge with Barbie.
From Darlington to Dosquebradas
And where they speak Punjabi
She apes your mothers and your fathers –
She has no gender, Barbie.
From Dzerzhinsk down to Durg and Delhi
From Trudeau to Mugabe
Foreign leaders watch her belly
Rise in size. Ah Barbie …
From Davenport to Durgapur,
She’s hotter than wasabi:
What kind of girl would Sir prefer?
I think you’ll find it’s Barbie.