Thirty-nine ways to be a gentleman
1. Listen
2. I come from the right school, and
3. no, I will not answer your question about tax credits
4. besides, I think the House of Lords
5. and we were elected on a resounding quarter of the votes
6. so I say to you
7. no, I will not answer your question about tax credits
8. I am smartly dressed
9. I look like a photograph
10. when I am angry, my vowels shift (see my ‘a’)
11. I have often read Country Life
12. say, at a hunt, although of course
13. I am the son-in-law of a Marquis!
14. can undo a bra with a pair of scissors
15. look, quite honestly
16. Big Society
17. never blow dry my hair
18. I have help with it, in fact
19. no, I will not answer your question about tax credits
20. fine dining
21. I holiday in Cornwall, bucket and spade
22. calm down, dear
23. yes I would press the red button
24. no, I will not answer your question about tax credits
25. posh swearing
26. I am expensively dressed
27. I love my country, country that we live, weeping copiously
28. my lovely wife
29. not long now
30. when I get to the Lords I
31. no, I will not answer your question about tax credits
32. more food banks, food banks up, good news
33. no, I will not answer your question about tax credits
34. This Charming Man, The Smiths
35. I am fresh from a colour supplement
36. a Daily Mail
37. People jolly well think I am
38. no, I will not answer your question about tax credits
39. will that do?
Click here for the 39 ways to be a gentleman
