the weekly

Tristram says

Tristram says we need to eat

Some posh and nicely packaged meat,

But we say, feed our son and daughter

Dodgy tripe and brackish water –

It isn’t that we like it. We

Have seen it swallowed on TV.


Tristram says the cultured throat

Should think about a Labour vote –

It follows that all bright red dawns

Owe much to eating filo’d prawns.

But we prefer to gnaw on bones,

As featured last on Game Of Thrones.


Tristram says they’ll draw a blank

Unless they back a foodie bank:

When the gastro-poor are not reviled

By those who like their salmon wild,

And only purchase what’s organic.

We suck marrow. Moral panic,


Tristram says, will be assuaged

With real John Lewis types engaged

In asking for more human rights

For those like us who feed on lights.

We bow. We play the servant’s fiddle.

We’re only piggy in a Lidl.


Click here for a Daily Mirror article

Click here for a Guardian article





Tristram says

Sales of mead, offal and bones are climbing, according to Morrison’s, who put it down to the popularity of Game of Thrones. According to The Guardian,  “Tristram Hunt, the shadow education secretary, said Labour would only win if the party championed aspirational voters who shop at John Lewis and Waitrose.”

May 12 2015


Home/Join | List | Next | Previous | Random