Tristram says we need to eat
Some posh and nicely packaged meat,
But we say, feed our son and daughter
Dodgy tripe and brackish water –
It isn’t that we like it. We
Have seen it swallowed on TV.
Tristram says the cultured throat
Should think about a Labour vote –
It follows that all bright red dawns
Owe much to eating filo’d prawns.
But we prefer to gnaw on bones,
As featured last on Game Of Thrones.
Tristram says they’ll draw a blank
Unless they back a foodie bank:
When the gastro-poor are not reviled
By those who like their salmon wild,
And only purchase what’s organic.
We suck marrow. Moral panic,
Tristram says, will be assuaged
With real John Lewis types engaged
In asking for more human rights
For those like us who feed on lights.
We bow. We play the servant’s fiddle.
We’re only piggy in a Lidl.