the weekly


I’ve been staring and staring at Nigel Farage.

I thought it would cure me, and make me vote Labour;

But soon I was knitting like Madame Defarge,

And I’m well on the way to deporting my neighbour.


I’ve been trying all night to be near Russell Brand.

That way I could make sure the ballots were working;

But soon I was preening and whining, unplanned,

With some second-year, second-hand platitudes perking.


I tried to stay warm in Nick’s fabulous aura –

That way I could lie in the highway, the middle;

But soon I was mixing up richer and poorer –

I love an enigma wrapped up in a riddle.


I’ve spent a whole month staring Dave in the eyeballs.

I thought it make me come round to the cuts;

But soon, with my Giant Society bibles,

I’m doing the rounds now. What time do you shut?




Read a Telegraph article here.









A new article in Nature suggests that simply looking at food could turn off cravings for a short time.

29 April 2015


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