Help!
I know I’ve left the gas on
I’ve a burglar for a neighbour
There’s a nail inside my croissant
Christ, I must vote Labour
I’m sure this rash is spreading
There’s a rat’s nest in my bed
It’s retirement that I’m dreading
Christ, let’s vote for Ed
I must eat more quinoa
I’m sure I’ll drown when boating
My heartbeat’s getting slower
Christ! Get Labour-voting
I’m sure they’ll all vote Kipper
Yes, even in the regions
My postman’s Jack the Ripper
Christ! Red's my allegiance
I’m terrified of weather
My end will turn out gory
Here's my well-frayed tether
For Christ’s sake don’t vote Tory
Click here for a Guardian article
Click here to buy a copy of Bill’s poetry collection Ringers
Click here for Bill’s New Statesman research project
