the weekly

Gravity Boots

The NHS is in a mess?
It's over-run by suits?
This is a plot, or, if it's not,
Out come my gravity boots.

Yes, seriously, I hang up here,
Claim hospitals aren't bust;
I'm upside down, but quite sincere.
It's what I'm full of: trust.

So tell me, why do nurses curse?
Just let me tread that ceiling!
We're sickening? Rather the reverse:
Our figures look appealing.

But when the medics agitate,
Let blood run to my brain.
My boots on, I'm a bat. It's late.
Perhaps I've gone insane.

How best to help the tale unfold,
Ensure our health's asserted?
Bring my boots. And while you're told,
I'll dangle here, inverted.

Gravity Boots
When stuck on his plots, Dan Brown dangles upside down from the ceiling wearing "gravity boots". Tony Blair and Patricia Hewitt were accused of losing the NHS plot.
26 April 2006


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