the weekly

Top Of The Form

So, Michael, you have been promoted,

Prefect of the House, it seems:

A poison pill so candy-coated

It seems beyond your wildest dreams –

At last you get to wear a blazer,

Or failing that, to wield a taser.


All of us are shocked to hear that

You’ll be earning far less tuck,

Except the bullies (and I fear that

They won’t give a flying fuck) –

But now you’ll offer them detention

Or other pains too grim to mention.


You seem so fragile, dear young chap,

As if the Head had ticked you off:

You squirming in a ringworm cap

While he wears waistcoats like a toff –

He’ll make you pay some weird allegiance

In the playground’s nether regions.


Govey (may I?) you’re a swot,

And that’s no insult, rest assured.

You’ve may have lost the old school plot,

But all the same, you have endured –

In fifty years, when teachers curse,

They’ll call it goving. Could be worse.


Click here for a Guardian article

Click here to buy Bill’s poetry collection Ringers

Click here to follow Bill’s New Statesman research


Top Of The Form

Michael Gove was shifted from Education to become Chief Whip, and no longer a full member of the Cabinet. He claimed it was not a demotion.

15 July 2014


Home/Join | List | Next | Previous | Random