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When home fires start to stutter

And buttered toast grows stale,

Whenever there’s a sudden dearth

Of thick and bitter ale,

Whenever there’s a run on Cheddar

And the dead are out of soul,

You’ll hear them whisper late night

But Rooney got a goal.


It was a famous victory,

A conquest unforeseen,

And when the boys return, the noise

Will lead them to The Queen,

For how to raise the bar is

What the lads are for

As no-one cares for Suarez,

Or for that nil-all draw.


But Rooney got a goal

You’ll hear when England has a

Spasm of nostalgia

The way they did with Gazza

And old folk sitting round a screen

With dentures in a glass

Will all recall The Year Fourteen

(And what didn’t come to pass).


The squad is at the airport,

Their faces cheery-pink,

And each great lad has thought of home

Or been too proud to think –

But Rooney got a goal

It’s wonderful, a thrill –

And anyway what do they know

Of football in Brazil?


Click here for a Telegraph story

Click here to buy Bill’s poetry collection Ringers

Click here to follow Bill’s New Statesman research





England scored one point out of a possible nine at the World Cup finals.

25 June 2014


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