the weekly

Value Added

I am a British value,

Well-mannered, plump and pink:

You shan’t neglect me, shall you?

There’ll be a frightful stink

If you give me your elbow’s edge

Or leave me on a dusty ledge.


A white knight, I must thrust this

Lance of honour through;

I stand for peace and justice

And for toleration too.

The one thing that I cannot stand?

A clammy European hand.


I also don’t like workers

Who have the right to strike,

And do not like the burqas.

I think each tiny tyke

Should put a prayer-book in his bag

And, once a day, salute the flag.


I like the English foodstuff

Like marmalades and curds –

I like to read the good stuff

(And not the Mockingbirds).

Oh I said ‘English’, did I not?

Of course the word subsumes the Scot.


Be clean, and listen to my voice,

And whisper this for me:

There is no other god but choice,

And please don’t disagree.

Nor should you be an atheist:

Be Christian. Other faiths, desist.



Click here for a Guardian article


Click here to buy a copy of Bill’s poetry collection Ringers


Click here for Bill’s New Statesman research project






Value Added

Michael Gove (him again) is to insist that schools actively promote ‘British values’.

11 June 2014


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