Upon the late night flicker-screen
When simple folk have gone to bed
Or, bored with politics, have been
Seduced by channels less well-bred,
The metro-intellectual set
Watch Paxman drawl his lazy threat.
An item on the London beat
Has caught his eye, unleashed his tongue:
He castigates the small élite,
And has his traps prepared and sprung –
An audience of politicos
Watch Paxman tweak their fellow’s nose.
Incestuous and from the south,
The late-night show somehow connives,
As if a single giant mouth
Knew most about our dullard lives:
The minister’s, the expert’s rants
Prove Paxman’s own irrelevance.