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Sir Humphrey

My milk: a lap of honour.
My fur: its ermine grace.
Life: I've bought it. I'm a goner.
I'm in Another Place.

A mouse: I brought my jaws up.
My purr: what subtle chords.
Paid my dues; I lie here, paws up.
I'm in The House Of Lords.

My job: to find my Captain
The rats beneath, in steerage.
Reward: this velvet cloak I'm wrapped in.
They've given me a peerage.

And now my whiskers shrivel,
And now my eyes are clouds.
My chips: cashed. Time to go, to drivel
With the Upper Chamber crowds.

Sir Humphrey
Humphrey, the Downing Street cat, died, aged 18. The Welsh and Scottish Nationalist parties sparked a police investigation as to whether the Labour Party had breached the 1925 Sale Of Peerages Act.
23 March 2006


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