the weekly

Spend Spend Spend

I am a humble pensioner
With access to my pot:
It is my firm intention, sir,
To spend the bleeding lot.
Is wasted on the young:
But now I've the facility
To blow my whole damn bung.

I'll buy Wincarnis crated,
Increase my daily dose,
And tastebuds not yet sated,
Buy Werthers by the gross,
And now I have the rare gift
Of ageing in disgrace
I'll buy a third-hand stair-lift
For grandkids to give chase.

I'll also buy three boozers,
A giant plasma screen,
Sail off on top-notch cruises,
And hobnob with the Queen.
And when my binge is over,
With relatives gone spare,
Though broke, I'll be in clover,
And bask in social care.

For a BBC article on the topic

To buy a copy of Bill's poetry collection Ringers

For Bill's New Statesman research project

Spend Spend Spend
Pensioners will be able to collect all of their private pensions at one go, after a budget decision to change the rules.
25 March 2014


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