the weekly

Café Society

Coffee makes you healthy;
Coffee's at death's door;
Coffee makes you wealthy;
Coffee makes you poor.

Coffee's optimistic;
Coffee's in your genes –
Coffee is statistic-
ally made with coffee beans.

Coffee is kind-hearted;
Coffee turns you bad.
Coffee gets you started,
And it makes you bomb Baghdad.

Coffee builds your muscles;
Coffee makes you weaker,
Has power, drunk in Brussels,
Although not in Costa Rica.

Never mind the coffee-picker,
And his Caribbean crops:
But be careful with your ticker –
Coffee stirs it. Then it stops.

If you're coffee-nosed, you snigger;
Coffee slows you, makes you move it;
Go to Starbuck's, and go figure.
Here's the evidence to prove it.

Café Society
“A study of 4,028 people in Costa Rica revealed that those genetically predisposed to be slow at breaking down caffeine were 64 per cent more likely to suffer cardiac arrest if they drank four or more cups of coffee a day. But those with the opposite genetic trait - so-called "fast caffeine metabolisers" - appeared to reduce the chances of a heart attack by drinking coffee, the scientists discovered.” – The Daily Telegraph. Coffee-drinking was alleged to have helped cause Tony Blair to have a mild heart attack.
8 March 2006


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