the weekly


I am a fly beyond a swat,
And beat your paper’s play-tricks,
My sight is fleeter than a cheetah.
I’m faster than The Matrix.
You might greet this with indignation,
But I have far more information.

I’m smarter than a spider,
As fast as (darn you!) thieves:
Where you’re a bodger, I’m a dodger
And like Keanu Reeves –
Take your aim. Your trigger, pull it.
I beat your magazine and bullet.

I am a politician
And squat upon your TV,
Or buzz and splish in your dinner’s dish.
I’m a nuisance. See my CV.
But I’m not a horsefly on your leg.
That, my friends, is a clueless clegg.

Click here for an Independent article

Click here to buy Bill’s poetry collection Ringers

Click here to follow Bill’s New Statesman research



A study at Trinity College, Dublin, has shown just how fast flies are. Nick Clegg faced a few uphill struggles at the Liberal Democrat conference.

18 September 2013


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