the weekly


The well-endowed Adonis
Is Dad without the vim;
The man with wee cojones,
How pleased kids are with him
He cuddles them with skill and ease,
Has testes that are shrunken peas.

The oarsman at the rowlocks
Whose muscles fairly bulge,
Unless he’s shrunk his bowlocks,
Is not the type to indulge
The infants. No, the man they need
Has tiny balls (think aniseed).

Thus any man may promise
To bomb a country flat,
With testicles like bombers –
But we will see through that,
And leave no children in his charge,
His cobblers being far too large.

Click here for a story in The Guardian

Click here to buy Bill’s poetry collection Ringers

Click here to follow Bill’s New Statesman research


Researchers in Atlanta have found that men with smaller testicles make better fathers. Whether or not to bomb Syrian targets is becoming a test of machismo.

Thanks to Tracy Dillon for suggesting the subject.


11 September 2013


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