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Not Cricket

Suarez was starving, or else misconstrued
What the manager said (‘Get stuck in, get a grip’),
Suarez was thinking of Uruguay food,
Suarez was trying to kiss, slipped his lip.

Ivanovic smelt like some freshly cooked rashers,
Suarez was hypnotised (Chelsea supporters);
Suarez was flashing his perfect white gnashers
To praise dental hygiene for Liverpool’s daughters.

Suarez was merely attempting to nibble,
Suarez was craving Ivanovic sweat,
The worst that Luis meant to do was to dribble,
He thought that the arm was the back of the net.

Suarez was ravenous, tell me who’d blame him,
When he’s paid a mere eighth of a million a week:
Besides he is wild, how can any man tame him?
He sinks in his teeth when he’s frightened to speak.

He sells Adidas boots, and brings millions pleasure,
Where else would a sane person think it was right
To treat such an act with a punitive measure? –
It was only a game, it was only a bite.

Read an Independent story here

Click here to buy Bill’s poetry collection Ringers

Not Cricket

The Uruguayan footballer Luis Suarez, who plays for Liverpool, was not dropped by his employers after biting an opponent, Chelsea’s Branislav Ivanovic. Hmm. What would have happened if (say) Andy Murray had bitten Roger Federer?

24 April 2013


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