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The Garbo Complex

Let’s say goodbye to Germany
Arrivederci Italy
Hey Slovenia, won’t be seein’ ya
Spain we’ll miss you bitterly

It’s going to tug the heartstrings
It’s sure to be a wrench
’Bye Portuguese, and ’bye Maltese,
Adieu to Finns and French

We want to go our own way
To be a single nation
Not at the feast although deceased
Nor like some strange relation

And also, farewell Scotland,
Northern Ireland, Wales
No big deal, we just don’t feel
At home with Celts and Gaels

In fact, good riddance, Cumbria,
Northumbria, Yorks and Lancs –
You’re in the void, and unemployed:
Farewell and many thanks

Birmingham and Cornwall,
Devon and the Fens,
We’ll think of you when we are through
As dubious former dens

We’ll sit here in Westminster
And pledge to flag and Queen
Our guineas, groats and ten-bob notes
But keep our noses clean

Yes, we’ve had no fighting
For over fifty years:
We’ll leave you decently in peace
We’re waving at you! Cheers!

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The Garbo Complex

George Osborne threatened the possibility of the UK leaving the European Union, Michael Gove proposed that teachers in the north should be paid less than those in the south (a theme picked up by other ministers).

15 Jan 2012


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