the weekly

Kingdom Gum

They're chewing the whole issue over;
They're minting some policies quick.
They know the whole country's
Stuck up a gum-tree –
It's a problem they need to unstick.

It hardens beneath garden tables;
It clings to the hair like a nit –
Ex-smokers, still craving,
Can cover your paving
With a thoughtless but deadening spit.

All policy speeches are tasteless,
Strangle language, but linger like lard:
But the public consumption
Of gum needs some gumption –
And a boot to come down on it, hard.

Kingdom Gum
The government is to crack down on the spitting of chewing gum on to the streets – 3.5 billion bits, according to one estimate. A £75 fine is being proposed in a “get-tough” policy.
17 January 2006


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