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Voices From The Grave

Yes, Lincoln was high-pitched and nasal;
Day-Lewis, however, ’s a creep:
Abe was a saint, so it’s better to paint him
As gravelly, gracious, and deep.

Caesar was horrible screechy,
But let’s have him played by John Wayne,
With his veni and vidi and vici
Drawling over and over again.

Shakespeare could caw like a raven
That had swallowed a helium shot:
But give him ‘Fats’ Waller’s voice (Ain’t Misbehavin’)
And history’s hitting the spot.

Jane Austen was blunt as a knife,
And swore, as did Emily Brontë:
But please let us hear both as Cameron’s wife,
With a touch of the Alamein Monty.

I mean, would you have Margaret Thatcher
Piously speak of St. Francis,
Or say that The Queen, should you catch her,
Spoke just like a deb at their dances?

History’s fibs. Yes it is,
And fame really has to be played up:
If someone heard Gove as he is,
The future would think he’d been made up.

Click here for a Telegraph article:

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Voices From The Grave

There was outrage in the US that Daniel Day-Lewis’s performance of Abraham Lincoln made him sound like Mr. Burns of The Simpsons.

13 November 2012


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