the weekly


Call me old-fashioned
Call me a dud
Call me impassioned
A stick in the mud
Call me a slouch
Or a shanker of scrim
A spud on a couch
Or exceedingly prim
Or afraid of a long life
Or call me plain crackers
But I don’t want the wrong knife
To savage my knackers

Call me a prole
Or address me as ‘pleb’
But I think on the whole
That I’d rather life ebb
At an elegant rate
And to let my eyes shut
When I’m seventy-eight
Than to suffer the cut
There are ways to bamboozle a
Scythe-wielding reaper
But to be a Methuselah
Ought to come cheaper

I’d rather die merry
Than opt for the snip
(Though not be John Terry
Or even Chief Whip)

Click here for a Telegraph article

Click here to buy Bill’s poetry collection, Ringers



John Terry has resigned as an England international in the wake of accusations that he racially abused another player. The Government Chief Whip’s position was considered tenuous because he allegedly called a policeman a pleb. The secret to living an extra twenty years was said by scientists to be castration.

26 September 2012


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