Dolphinology
Some say the social spongers
Are working-class or chavs
But here are savvy plungers:
Not have-nots but the haves.
A dolphin is a mammal
With fettle and physique,
Not humpy like the camel?
Truth is, he likes a clique.
He dives about the water,
A breathing, agile sub,
But he will give no quarter
If you’re not in his club.
He seems so sleek and canny
As he orders his affairs
But he will sell your granny
If it brings him stocks and shares.
His waves his happy flipper
At surfers and their boards.
Oh yes, he’s very chipper,
But he likes the House of Lords.
He seems like a perfect poem
And imbued with endless patience
But some dolphins, far below him,
He ranks lower than crustaceans.
At night, in silk and ermine,
He enjoys a regal wave,
And discusses us as vermin
With Boris and with Dave.
